Thursday, December 14, 2006

most depressing xmas song EVER

Come December, I'm attracted to 24/7 Christmas radio like a moth to a bug-zapper. In Chicago, it's 93.9 FM - THE LITE. This year, they switched their light pop/shlock format to Xmas tunes in October. OCTOBER!!!!!!!! There was an article in yesterday's Redeye about how lucrative the format-switch is, even in October. It makes sense. I don't ever listen to The Lite outside of their Christmas format.

Last night, I was writing a few Christmas cards and listening to The Lite when the Delilah Show was on. She's syndicated coast to coast and out the wazoo. Good ol' Delilah runs a call-in, love song dedication, feel-good type program. During the Christmas season, folks call in to share favorite holiday memories and family traditions. It's enough to make your teeth rot out of your head, and I'm a sucker for it when I'm not busy rolling my eyes. I was only half-listening to a song she played in dedication to one of her callers. It was mostly on as background noise as I was affixing a Ninja sticker to the inside of a Christmas card (nothing says Merry Christmas better than a ninja).

The jist of the song, once I started listening half-way through, was roughly this: a kid wants to buy a pair of shoes for his mother for Christmas. His mother is sick in a hospital, she's dying fast, and he wants to give her a new pair of shoes so she'll look nice "for when she meets Jesus."

What the... ? Huhn??? Is this Christmas music or the soundtrack to cut yourself?

Have any of you heard this song? If so, do you have any idea who sings it? It's a contemporary male singer who sounds like he belongs in the country music rack at Wal-Mart, if that narrows it down.

Delilah, you sick sick woman.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

my friend, the dictionary

I had an extensive IM conversation last evening with my sister Carly. It was the longest conversation we've ever had with each other about anything. It started with her asking me for the proper spelling of the word "antisemitic" (www.dictionary.com was down).

Marisa: Well do you have a REAL dictionary? Like a book dictionary?
Carly: nope
Marisa: Made of paper?
Carly: what's paper?
Marisa: ...you seriously do not have a real dictionary? That's nuts.
Carly: I also tried spellchecking on word. it didn't come up anywhere
Marisa: I suppose I could look it up for you in MY dictionary. But you owe me a dollar if I do.
Carly: I hate you.
Marisa: You need a dictionary. Punk.
Carly: I'm not a writer, and I don't plan on becoming a writer as a career
Marisa: You don't need to be a writer to need a dictionary. I'm getting you a dictionary for Christmas now. You are getting a dictionary.
Carly: I don't need a dictionary!!!
Marisa: Yes you do. I don't care if you don't think you need it. You can use it as a coaster.
Carly: buy me something useful!
Marisa: Like I said, use it for beverages. And then guests to your apartment can look up words you don't want to look up. You just doomed yourself to getting a dictionary from me. Do you have a dictionary preference? Webster's? American Heritage?
Carly: Apparently not.
Marisa: Fine, then you leave it up to me. And I'm going to highlight all the words I think you should know.
Carly: Are you just going to color all the pages with a marker?
Marisa: Technically, a highlighter IS a marker. So yes.
Carly: Yeah, I wanted to add some word variation. I just wanted to prove you don't need to buy me a thesaurus too.
Marisa: Sometimes they have deals on a dictionary/thesaurus two-pack
Carly: You know what! I'm going to go finish my paper now...without a dictionary made of paper. Thank you for your time. I don't need anymore sass.
Marisa: You deserve the sass for not owning a dictionary. Go finish your paper. My half of your Christmas present won't be a surprise. Sorry.
Carly: I don't care. Thanks for the dictionary...
Marisa: You're welcome. You'll love it.

[end]