Tuesday, October 02, 2007

temporary life

Below is a compiled transcript of the past couple interviews for temp work I've endured. It's inaccurate in dictation but true in spirit.

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Interviewer: I want to go over a little what the job requires. We're looking for somebody to generate web-based surveys for our clients using a program called Quibblebits 2.0. Have you ever used that program?

Me: No.

Interviewer: Ohh...kay. We're also looking for somebody who can compile and distribute data using a program called Donkeyslap Plus. Ever do any work on that?

Me: No.

Interviewer: Have you ever used Excel?

Me: On purpose?

Interviewer: What do you mean "on purpose"?

Me: Nothing.

Interviewer: How comfortable are you working with numbers?

Me: What, like, math?

Interviewer: Adding numbers.

Me: Accurately?

Interviewer: Yes.

Me: What, like, with a calculator? Or in my head, "quick! what's 57 plus 1877?!?!" like that?

Interviewer: With a calculator.

Me: Are you asking me if I know how to use a calculator?

Interviewer: We're looking for somebody who's comfortable with math.

Me: Right, but would I have a calculator?

Interviewer: Well, okay, it was great talking to you.

Me: But I'm good with computers. I pick up things like super-fast. And I'm punctual. I have many positive qualities. Just ask my mom!

Interviewer: We'll let you know.

Me: Will you really?

Interview: When you don't hear from us, you'll know.

Me: Awesome.