Wednesday, January 30, 2008

an open letter to bald men who wear 180 wrap-around earmuffs on eff'ing cold days

Look, dude. I'm not your mom. But your mom called and told me to slap you in your bald head as I walk behind you. The windchill is -23 F. Did you know that 110% of your body heat escapes through the top of your head? Science has proven this. Looking at you makes me feel colder. I will not think any less of you for wearing a hat. I know you're worried about that. What I think of you. Wear a hat. Buy this hat and wear it. Thank you.