Tuesday, July 08, 2008

spider update from spider central

Okay guys. This morning? Baby spider party all over my lampshade. I mean, come on! I just woke up. I have to get ready for work. The last thing I want to do is crush baby spiders in Kleenex at 7am. You know what, it's not the last thing I want to do -- it's not even on the fucking LIST of things I want to do. And now my lampshade is Haunted Mansion cobwebby and I got the creepy crawlies.

The scary part now.

When I got home from work today... no spiders. Anywhere. Which means either (A) I smashed them real good and sent every single one of those eight legged bastards to their toilet-watery graves, or, more likely (B) The ones I didn't get retreated to the walls, corners, crevices to plot my doom. Probably hanging out with the mouse. It's times like these I remember a statistic. The average adult swallows 7 spiders in their sleep per year. That can't be true, right? I read it somewhere, but, really? I doubt it. How was that study conducted? I want John Stossel to debunk that statistic on 20/20.